What does it matter?
A couple of weeks ago, I was having a difficult time, and couldn’t get my brain around doing a column, and Ruth Ann said it was ok, not to worry about it. Then last week, I was having a great time and didn’t write a column and completely forgot about it. So, what do those two weeks have in common?
Here we go into a soul searching, lesson learning moment. I was feeling overwhelmed and Ruth Ann let me off the hook, so I didn’t need to be accountable to her, or to you who are reading my column and supporting me. I still am amazed when people say that they have read what I have written. I still can’t quite believe that you are all out there. So, that makes it easier for me to think that these words are just for my own benefit, and that no one is affected by me not having something out each week.
The truth is that it does matter. I made a commitment to Ruth Ann, and to you, that I would be here and have something to say. It doesn’t matter if it was a good week, or a bad one. The responsibility is the same. Maybe the message will be different, and I think that it should be.
We seem to have bought into the notion that if we have a lot of blessings in our life, then we shouldn’t feel upset, or scared, or unsure, or cry. I was at a workshop today and just about every story started off with “I am so blessed, and I don’t know why I am doing this, or feeling this”.
And on the other side of that, we feel that if things are going off the rails, then we have a reason to not engage with people, that “no body needs to hear that depressing stuff”. Again, the truth is that we are wired to share with people, all the good and all the bad that happens. The energy and compassion and love that we have is multiplied by the act of gathering and sharing experiences.
That’s also why we need to have someone besides ourselves to help us to be accountable. Because in our moments of doubt, we may not feel that anything we are doing is worth it. I am here to tell you that it is. Find a person, a tribe, a group, and share your pain, and your joy, and your questions and your answers. That is what we are on the earth to do.
I am sharing this video because it speaks to what I am feeling now, and maybe someone out there needs to hear it.