tgiF – Use The Force
Two years ago, this week I walked out of the job I had into an uncertain future. The geek in me is pleased to say that it was on May the fourth. I loved the work I had been doing, but the atmosphere of bullying and harassment had taken its toll on me. To be honest, I had almost left several times, but had always talked myself out of it. Worrying about paying bills and having health insurance coverage kept me there longer than I should have been. This time however, I heard myself say the words ‘I have to go” and felt my body get up and move to the door. No time to think about it, no time to change my mind.
In the first year, I took the time to decompress from that work situation and was surprised to find that I couldn’t drive past the place without having a feeling of dread and being sick to my stomach. When I went back a couple of months later to collect the few things that I had left there, I did so at the end of the day when I knew that everyone except my former boss would be gone. Even though I missed some of the people that I had worked with, I just couldn’t face the thought of seeing anyone from there.
During this time, I was lucky to be able to “volunteer” at Sculpt Health and Wellness, Moncton. And by volunteer, I mean I got to hang out at the office, helping in any way I could, and sit in on consultations. I loved meeting the clients and seeing the changes they were making in their lives. Of course, my husband Ray was going through the program at the time, but after the first couple of sessions, I stopped going in for his consults. It was, after all, supposed to be his time to sort through his own “stuff” and to make progress, sometimes you must go to a “scary place”.
Over the course of the last year, Ray and I have been franchise owners for Sculpt Health and Wellness in Riverview. I love working with my clients and that is bringing me great joy. Ray and I are facing the challenges of building a new business, and are connecting with many people who are supportive and encourage us when we are feeling overwhelmed and unsure, and rejoice with us when things go well.
I am still trying to find a balance in all that I do, and again the words of the prophet Yoda ring in my ears;“Do or do not, there is no try”. And when Luke says to him that he doesn’t believe what he has just seen, Yoda replies “and that is why you fail”.
I recently watched a video of Will Smith, talking about when he went skydiving. He had agreed to do it, and then spent the night before the jump, not sleeping and being afraid of what the next day would bring. Then he went and did the jump, and he realized that the point of greatest fear was just as he stood at the doorway of the plane, about to jump. Once he was in the air, he was blissful and flying. It’s a great video, you can watch it here.
As I’ve said before, I’m never really sure what is going to come out when I sit at the computer to do these columns. I start typing and the words just flow. This week, as usual, I share with you the things that I need to hear and be reminded of for myself. I hope that my words help you to see that you are not alone in your struggles and your joys, and that above all, to trust that you know in your heart of hearts what you are meant to do and that you follow that path, and that you find your bliss on the other side of fear.
Here are Michelle’s other Weekly t.g.i.F columns:
- Think About It
- Who Are You, Really?
- Facing Fear
- Can you hear me now?
- Let It Be
- Tugging at the heart strings – my day at Work Of Heart
- A Word to the “whys”
- I can see clearly now
- The way you do the things you do
- Letting Go
- Chapter & Verse