Losing Your Dad, a dance, a poem and lots of memories
I just bawled the whole way through this video. I can totally relate. This dance is an amazing tribute to Bindi’s father.
I remember losing my dad at a young age (16) and going through the motions for a long time, before it really hit home. I remember reading a poem at his funeral and everyone saying how strong I was. In reality, I would never have volunteered to stand up in front of a crowd, ever, but my dad would have, so I did it for him.
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
~ by Mary Elizabeth Frye
My christening day in 1975. Don’t you just love the suit on my brother! lol
My brother, myself and Dad at our home in North Sydney.
A few years later in our house in Gondola Point, NB.
It will be 24 years (next month) since my father passed away after 2 years fighting lung and brain cancer. It seems so long ago, yet, just like yesterday. The passing of time does not take those precious memories away. Through the process of losing him, I learned so much, and also grew to respect my mom even more. I may not have shown it much over the years, but I am so proud of her for going on the way she has. My dad was her whole world and he was taken far too soon. She has become so independent, never looking for another person to fill any gaps in life. I asked her once why she never started dating again. She told me she already had the love of her life 🙂 How amazing is that!!
The hardest times to be without him have been when those big life events happen, like graduating, getting married and especially having my 2 children. He would have been the best Grampa in the World.
I am so lucky to have friends and family who knew him well, and share the stories and memories with my husband and children.
Just think about how documented our lives are today. When we are gone, it will be so easy for our loved ones to look back and relive those memories. Our social interactions are digitized and there for most others to view. Kind of amazing to think about how our children and their children and so on, will be able to “see” our lives and experience some of those memories with their families.
Dad on the boat (the Rob Roy), one of the last years before he got sick.
The next photo was taken many years later when Lorne (my oldest son) was visiting my Dad’s grave. He has always been facinated by hearing about Grampie Lorne (yes, he is named after my dad).
It’s amazing how watching a video of someone else’s journey can take you back in time. Maybe, if you are reading this, you are thinking now about someone you have lost, or perhaps you knew my dad, and this will stir up some fond memories of him. Either way, I am not writing this to make you sad, simply sharing my thoughts on this Fall morning and thinking about how to make my memories of him live on through my children.
Now to go dig out some more old photos!
~ Ruth Ann