It’s All About Connection – With Yourself!
For the past month I have been battling against my anxiety attacks, getting out and attending networking events and workshops, introducing myself and my blog to businesses and simply stepping a HUGE leap outside my comfort zone.
Do you wake up every morning looking forward to the day?
I think we can all agree that the answer will vary daily on this question. But overall, do you feel good about where you are, or feel bogged down and lost? Maybe you believe you are not reaching your true potential?
Recently I have had my moments of motivation and inspiration, but I need to feel that daily, not just from working, but in family life and in pride of our home. It needs to come from me, not relying on other's to inspire me. There are times when we all need that external inspiration and motivation, but we need to know how to generate it within ourselves as well.
It takes COURAGE to grow up and become WHO WE REALLY ARE.
~ E.E Cummings
As a 40+ mom of 2, having spent the past 15+ years at home, most of that time working some sort of home business, freelancing in design or doing part time work outside the home, I am often lost. Maybe lost is the wrong word. Pulled in too many directions, working at too many different things, and never fully putting efforts into any one venture. Being “good” at many things, but not “great” or excelling at any one thing. I put myself here, no one else did. In doing so I have lost my way and my courage to find out who I really am.
My typical description of myself is "scattered and unfocused". I rarely have a clean house, laundry is in baskets all over the house, mostly washed, but rarely put away. There are projects started and abandoned everywhere, and don’t get me started on the lists and random papers I am hanging onto, but never actually going back to look at. (I need to Kon Marie my life! Lol)
It seems that just when I become “successful” at something, I back away. Maybe it is my anxiety about living up to other’s expectations, or maybe I am okay to focus on something only for so long, but I am not passionate enough about continuing. Maybe I am trying too hard to be successful in other people's eyes, and not in my own mind and heart. What is success, if you don't place the same value on it as others?
The life I have lead to this point, has made me the person I am, and now I am looking for more. For a sense of self pride and self loving that I don’t know I have truly felt before.
We tend to gauge our happiness on what others think our lives are like, or how other people or businesses perceive our abilities. Do we truly feel fulfilled if we are constantly in doubt of ourselves and trying to keep up appearances?
When we are confident, people say we are arrogant or cocky, so we doubt ourselves. When we are passionate about something, people automatically think you are trying to sell them something, or convert them to our way of thinking.
Do we ever feel we can be authentic to ourselves and still be respected or liked, or even loved by others? Maybe it is my age, or simply just a revelation, but it is time for me to know me, love me and share me with the world. Even my family do not see me enjoying my true passions. By rarely taking time to do the things that make me happy, it means I am pretty much a cranky, tired mama most days.
My goal this year is to find focus for what makes me happy and what I believe is a successful life. To give less value to what others are projecting at me, and listen to my heart, my desire to achieve my dreams & my goals to be a better mom, wife and business woman, from my perspective.
Do you feel you need to refocus, find yourself and learn who you are? I invite you to share your thoughts and goals in the comments.
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